jobs ♝ may

[boardmaster]

JOB POST
MAY (VALLARIA) 2016

You want to do your best for Blanc! Or maybe you just want cold, hard colle. Either way, the boards at the Hall of Glory or the Poisoned Pawn are your best bets: these short memos list a brief job description and the location where the requester can be found.

Your popularity has soared after that resounding victory in the War of Graupera, so jobs are lining up! Not just on the boards themselves, but shopkeepers are more than likely to allow you to work at their businesses now. Time to make some colle!

There are no slot limit to jobs and you can do them any way you like! To help keep track of things, please sign up in the comments below and feel free to use this post to plot! More jobs will be added to the list throughout the month! Keep an eye out for announcements.

♟ Hall of Glory’s Bulletin Board

Not Safe For Work
Requester Gerald, the Head Butler	Requester Location Hall of Glory
Date Available 05/05 - 05/31	Quest Location Caissa
“Heroes! Ready your brooms and aprons... For today, we clean through hell!” Living in the Hall of Glory is great, isn’t it? Free lodging! Free food! Your clothes are always washed and dried and your bed is always made. It’s as if the hall were populated by magic elves! But nothing is that easy. The maids, butlers, stablehands, cooks and pigeons responsible for keeping house have been running themselves ragged. It’s time for the yearly spring cleaning, but between cooking meals and polishing the chiseled abs of Heroes’ statues, they already have their hands very full! To avoid ruining their stunningly good looks with overwork, these domestic heroes are attempting to wrangle our Heroes into doing their part. It’s time to tackle every nook and cranny! There are hallways to mop, windows to wipe, and hobby rooms to tidy up. Then there’s the gigantic courtyard: nature needs cleaning too! You’re also going to be washing every last bit of linen in the place. Try not to clothesline yourself or anyone else. For more specialized tasks… Bulletin Board: Someone(s) has been sneaking rather inappropriate postings onto it. Sketches of Heroes in compromising situations, notes of love and lust, nothing job-related at all! Time to clean all that up. Armory: Someone’s mucked up the uniform order; now there are uniforms that span half the length of the room along with uniforms that would only fit on a hand. There may even be a skimpy version or two. Everything except anything a Hero can use. Roof: It’s a battlefield for two murders of three-legged crows fighting for ultimate domination. They’ve also discovered the joys of flinging Monday Mystery leftovers in a battle to the death. Are you bold enough to chase them off? Where the Glory is: The amount of Heroic paraphernalia has been growing! Polish and dust the statues and paintings of your fellow Heroes doing both the most dramatic or mundane tasks (WARNING: may not be true to life). You probably don’t want to remove that leaf. The unwilling will be handed a rather lengthy shopping list. Those at the Hall will need a constant supply of cleaning supplies, equipment for lassoing belligerent Heroes and crows, polishing potions, etc. The head butler also needs you to purchase solar flowers, which must be present in every single room of the Hall and perfectly watered. With all these attractive butlers and maids flitting around the Hall—even Gerard has the body of a god—we hope you don’t get too distracted! For more cleaning ideas, please read the Hall of Glory page linked above.
Reward 300 colle per hour and a friendly kiss (or kick) from the staff member of your choice and your pigeon nanny

♟ Poisoned Pawn’s Help Wanted Board

My Holiday With A Hero
Requester Black Lightning	Requester Location Caissa
Date Available 5/22 - 06/03	Quest Location Caissa
“Rambaldi? Gone. I only follow money. Today, I follow Hero. Mm, Caissa is hot city. Or maybe that is you? Heehee… Give me tour before we make business.” A note on the board tells you to meet the writer at a cafe in Caissa, signing off with a familiar symbol drawn in black ink. Those who fought at the Battle of Graupera last month might recognize the rune Noir mages used to ward off lightning spells. Judging from the note’s contents, this person might have some dirt on Noir. It says they’ll be there everyday, so it could be worth a look! Once you make it there, you’ll be greeted by a brunette bombshell in a tight little black dress. Once she starts teasing you in her thick Noir accent, you might make the connection to a certain Noir assassin—the notorious Black Lightning! Ever since her mafia employers in Capablanca disappeared, she’s lost all reason to kill you. In fact, she’s got some dirt to dish. But, as with all her services, it comes with a price: Handsome, manly heroes will have to take her out on a date. And maybe let her touch your abs. She’s never been to Caissa before, so show her a good time! She can be quite the minx. If two manly heroes take her out at once, she might even ask them to make out… But if only one of them is manly, don’t even bother. She has specific tastes. Obnoxious brats get zapped by her lightning magic. Ouch! Everyone else? Give her a tour around Caissa! She loves burgers, ballet and long walks on the beach. Don’t be mad about Capablanca, okay? Also, do you have any handsome, single friends? After spending the day with her, she thanks you with an air kiss before disappearing into thin air, quick as lightning. You’re left with no information, but she does leave you with a few gifts. Any attempts to bring her to Blanc authorities will be met with the same result, minus the gifts and with an additional, electrifying lightning kiss.
Reward 1500 colle and “IOU Information” card with a kiss mark* on success *kiss will only be present if you are a manly male Hero

♟ The Airy’s Help Wanted Board

Step 3: Put the Honey Back in the Box
Requester Captain Lei	Requester Location The Airy
Date Available 5/22 - 06/03	Quest Location Blanc (Various)
“Don’t tell Secretary Batshit or any of the authorities. It’ll be our little secret.” A large shipment of boxes needs delivering, but Lei trusts no one else with this sensitive task. These wooden boxes, of varying sizes, are completely sealed. You’ll be delivering to major cities in Blanc, and Lei doesn’t care how you deliver the boxes so long as they reach his contacts. They will be located in the dark corners of every tavern, and they’ll be expecting you. Just hand over the boxes and move along! If you linger, they might just come back and shove the empty box on you. At least you have a box to show for your trouble… Along the way, groups of bandits may attack you, demanding that you hand over the goods, even if your boxes are the empty ones the contacts returned to you. These bandits use guns and magical tasers, among a variety of other weapons, but aside from their large numbers, they shouldn’t be too difficult to defeat! Just watch out for the sneaky one that will make off with your boxes while you’re distracted by the battle. Asking them what they’re looking for will yield only raptor screeches. There is no way to look inside the boxes unless you pry them open, and there are a variety of annoying traps set in the seals. Most of them will just make your voice screechy like a raptor’s for a day or two, or turn your eyebrows into feathers. Should you succeed in opening a box despite the traps, you will be mysteriously knocked out before you can look inside. When you come to, the boxes will have disappeared. Should you lose the boxes due to bandits or sheer curiosity, Lei will still forgive you. It wasn’t your fault they got stolen. What was in them?
Reward 2000 colle, luxury Airy tickets for two (or a promise of a date with Lei that he will never keep), and an empty, open box* on success *each box comes with a hidden emblem on the bottom that looks suspiciously like an corrupted Ma Jiang word, a hermetic seal on the lid, and various boobytraps that activate by closing the box

♟ Gresser’s Help Wanted Board

I Herd Something In Gresser
Requester Mayor of Gresser	Requester Location Gresser
Date Available 05/10 - 05/16	Quest Location Gresser
“A number of our farmers can barely work... Most of them took care of their cows as if they were their own children. Please help them, Heroes. This isn't about our town's livelihood alone.” On the night of the 7th, the all-important fruit cows go missing. You can find one farmer crying and sniffling; he blubbers about his favorite strawberry milk cow, Herdbeere, 3-time winner of Gresser’s annual Bovine Bonanza. His story about his love for dairy tugs at the heartstrings, but it’s no lead. Perhaps you’ll find more clues in the city. Rumors abound in Gresser and its local tavern. They say cows aren’t the only victims in these disappearances—people have been going missing too, forcing families to temporarily leave town. Those that remain usually stay indoors, boarding up windows and locking doors. Sometimes, you’ll hear the locals murmur, “Dragons. Dragons are the culprit.” Even the owners of Die Schwebende Burg, the hot air balloon port, have closed the establishment as a precaution. Some businesses don’t seem as bothered. “Dragons? What dragons? Those things left days ago! Hey, are you buying something or not?” Nevertheless, life goes on in Gresser. Although Gresser’s fields are worse off than Caissa’s, the dragons have retreated, leaving its people safe for now. Caissa’s fields, however, turn out to be littered with fruit cows and corpses... The culprits couldn’t be more obvious! On the city’s outskirts, the local wildlife is on edge. They are territorial and protective due to the attacks, and carnivores are ravenous thanks to having their hunting grounds disrupted; you don’t want to encounter them on the prowl. Eventually, you do locate the surviving fruit cows! They are terrified and a few inches leaner; this livestock hasn’t eaten in days. You’ll need to gain their trust by feeding them or singing Gresser’s folk song about sausage! But you may have overheard: rub the right fruit spot and you’ll have cow putty in your hands. Help them feel safe! Earn the faith of the cows, and they will follow you back to Gresser; you’ll have to fend off the earlier wildlife twice as much now that you have some walking steak in your possession, though. Should you succeed in this escort mission, you may return them to the farmers, who will now cry out of happiness. In fact, they will offer to buy drinks and meals for the Heroes to celebrate! And if you like strawberry milk, Herdbeere is back and producing it by the gallon!
Reward 1400 colle on success, a liter of flavored milk, and a free dinner at the tavern

Comments

Not Safe For Work

[boardmaster]

[hymnals]

shreds stacks of inappropriate sketches like an angry cat

ps if i can steal ur character to use in describing these sketches, lmk

[hiryugaeshi]

Are we killing birds again

Let's kill birds again

[topkong]

attempts to sneakily try on the inappropriate uniforms

:9

[showsnopiety]

welp

clearly they know what a thirsty bunch we are

Thirsty for cleaning

Re: Not Safe For Work

[yaoihand]

kija's too pure for this ... but sure

[hoasen]

vietnam is going to clean everything thoroughly alright.

and you know do everything else but yes.

[praises]

clean the smut dungeon

i mean the hall of glory

(same dif)

[rememberher]

but why can't we clean those dirty minds?

why would anyone want to?

[burnmydread]

Oh hell yes. There's no way I can't do this. Consequently...

Minato will totally be taking part in the Bulletin Board portion. He may also use his amazing artistic skills to add a few. He will be open to requests.

Also definitely he will be scouring the armory. Less cleaning and more taking the uniforms to use at a dungeon later. Really. Party up with him and you're going to wear a bikini. Be warned.

Lastly, he'll be going where the glory is because he's already taken the modesty leaf of a statue. He needs more.

Let's get crazy.

[dualitea]

doing this with alle.... double personality pairs...

[sunderings]

wow this is too much for a chaste king

but sion... will... persevere...

[rollin]

no why

[avantguard]

she's too ojousama for this

ALSO HOPEFULLY i can promote her to a Knight for this so she can break more stuff for everyone to clean :)

[troyhard]

secretly keeps the inaccurately buff drawings of him as motivational posters

I mean what... we have to get rid of all of the dirty things.

Re: Not Safe For Work

[1523]

DID SOMEONE SAY

SPRING CLEANING

[quaria]

LAUGHS AT EVERYTHING ABOVE

Also despite his idiocy, Setsuna's actually good with chores. But why should he bother with lewd chores when instead he can laugh at others doing it he can safely tend to the courtyard's plants and place cute solar flowers everywhere.

And I say this, but he'll likely end up helping others anyway. sighs!!

[oneirism]

Gonna criticize all the lewd pics and probs try on a skimpy uniform

Also fail at cleaning since what is being domestic

[probending]

KORRA'S DOING THIS.

She'll be alternating between gofers and washing clothes, but I'm also down for bulletin board stuff. TIME TO DESTROY THINGS

[seventhgen]

Aigis will probably be helping with most of this stuff. Sadly, lewd stuff doesn't work with her.... she might get a little bashful though....

[dualized]

Marie and Soma will gladly be doing their share of cleaning. Probably cleaning up statues/paintings and helping clear out inappropriate uniforms....

(If you catch Soma at the wrong time while you're doing something inappropriate, she might take you out with the trash. FAIR WARNING.)

[impulsives]

...God, Shinn's probably going to complain a lot but he's... going to do his chores.

Also pls drag him to do the lewd ones, he's not going to like it one bit.

I Herd Something In Gresser

[boardmaster]

[powerdriven]

Well, it's a job for heroes with horses so why not. Let's do some (different) clean up.

My Holiday With A Hero

[boardmaster]

[sediments]

shyly signs up...

sorry for the edit, but i just wanted to ask how much liberty can we take with black lightning? she and bolin have met a couple of times already, would she remember him or has she moved onto the buffet of heroes...

Step 3: Put the Honey Back in the Box

[boardmaster]

[hoasen]

there is so much No with this job. but at least she won't open the box!